The Annual Priority Audit: What Actually Matters Most

Part 1 of 2: Before you can say no to anything, you must know what you're saying yes to

It's almost January again. Everyone's talking about resolutions, goals, and becoming their "best self."

But here's what nobody's asking: What if you're already doing too much?

What if the problem isn't that you need to add more (better habits, bigger goals, another certification) but that you need to subtract what's no longer serving you?

I learned this the hard way. Five years ago, I was "successful" by every external measure. Good career. Active family. Volunteer commitments. Social life. All the boxes checked.

I was also exhausted, resentful, and wondering why nothing felt fulfilling despite doing so much.

Then I asked myself a question that changed everything:

"What actually matters most to me right now? Not what should matter, not what mattered last year, but what matters most in this season of my life?"

I couldn't answer it. Not honestly. Because I'd never stopped to ask.

That question led me to create what I now do every January: The Annual Priority Audit.

It's not a goal-setting exercise. It's a truth-telling exercise.

And it's the most important thing I do all year.

Why High Achievers Need This Most

If you're reading this, you're probably good at achievement. You set goals. You follow through. You deliver.

But here's the trap: We're so good at doing things that we forget to question whether we should be doing them at all.

We say yes because we can. Because we're capable. Because someone asked. Because it seems like a good opportunity. Because we've always done it.

And slowly, imperceptibly, we build a life full of things that made sense once but don't anymore.

The volunteer role you took on when your kids were little, but they're teenagers now.

The networking group that was valuable five years ago, but isn't aligned with where you're heading.

The ambitious career track you chose in your twenties, but your priorities shifted in your forties.

The activities your kids are in because they were interested once, but now it's just obligation.

We're living last year's priorities on autopilot. And it's costing us the life we actually want now.

The Annual Priority Audit stops the autopilot. It asks: What matters most right now?

Not what mattered last year. Not what should matter. Not what looks good on paper.

What matters most to you, in this season, given who you are and what you want your life to feel like?

The Framework: Five Questions That Change Everything

The audit is built around five core questions. I do this every January, and I'm always surprised by what's shifted.

Here's the framework:

Question 1: What Season Am I In?

Life moves in seasons. What mattered in one season may not matter in the next. And that's not failure, that's wisdom.

Consider:

Professionally:

• Am I in a learning season (building skills, exploring)?

• A growth season (advancing, taking on more responsibility)?

• A leadership season (mentoring, strategic influence)?

• A transition season (pivoting, pausing, exploring new directions)?

• A coasting season (maintaining, not climbing)?

Personally:

• What life stage are my kids in (if applicable)?

• What's my relationship season (building, maintaining, repairing)?

• What's my health/energy season (abundant energy, need for rest, recovery)?

• Am I in a building season or a sustaining season?

Financially:

• Am I in wealth-building mode?

• Debt payoff mode?

• Freedom/flexibility mode?

• Giving/legacy mode?

There's no right answer. There's only true answer.

Write it down: "I am in a _____________ season professionally and a _____________ season personally."

This is your north star for everything that follows.

Question 2: What Were My Top 3 Priorities Last Year?

Look at your calendar and bank statements from last year. They don't lie.

Where did your time actually go? Your money? Your energy?

Not where you wish it went. Where it actually went.

And here's the uncomfortable truth: Include everything in your money analysis, your housing costs, your food spending, all of it.

Because unintentional priorities often take over silently, under the radar. That oversized house you're working to afford. The eating out habit that somehow became a $600/month line item. The lifestyle inflation that crept in without you noticing.

We don't realize we're working 50-hour weeks to fund habits we didn't consciously choose.

Your spending reveals your actual priorities more honestly than your words ever could.

Time Analysis: Review your calendar from last year. On average per week:

• Work/Career: _______ hours

• Kids' activities/presence: _______ hours

• Partnership/relationship: _______ hours

• Exercise/health: _______ hours

• Friends/community: _______ hours

• Personal projects/creativity: _______ hours

• Volunteering/service: _______ hours

• Household management: _______ hours

• Rest/doing nothing: _______ hours

Money Analysis: Review your spending from last year. Include everything—housing, food, all of it.

Unintentional priorities like eating out, oversized homes, or lifestyle inflation often take over silently. We don't realize we're working to fund habits we didn't consciously choose. This exercise reveals what you're actually prioritizing through your spending.

Monthly spending breakdown:

• Housing (mortgage/rent, utilities, maintenance): $ _________

• Food (groceries + eating out): $ _________ 

  • Of this, eating out is approximately: $ _________

• Transportation (car payments, gas, insurance, maintenance): $ _________

• Kids (activities, school, clothes, supplies): $ _________

• Healthcare (insurance, copays, prescriptions): $ _________

• Debt payments: $ _________

• Lifestyle/discretionary (shopping, entertainment, hobbies): $ _________

• Subscriptions (streaming, apps, memberships): $ _________

• Travel/vacations: $ _________ (annual ÷ 12)

• Other: $ _________

TOTAL MONTHLY: $ _________

Surprises or revelations from this analysis:

---

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Areas where I'm spending more than I realized or more than aligns with what I say matters:

---

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Now, step back and look at where your time AND money actually went.

Be honest: What did you prioritize through your actions, not your intentions?

Sometimes what we discover is painful. "I said family was my priority, but I worked 60 hours a week and missed most dinners."

Or revealing: "I thought career was my priority, but I spent more time on my side business. Maybe that's telling me something."

This isn't about judgment. It's about clarity.

Write down your actual top 3 from last year.

Question 3: How Did Those Priorities Actually Feel?

Before we assess alignment, let's get honest about how living those priorities actually felt.

This is where the truth lives. Not in what looked good on paper, but in how it felt to live it.

Ask yourself:

• Did I feel fulfilled or exhausted?

• Aligned or resentful?

• Proud or guilty?

• Energized or drained?

The areas that felt good, that's information. You were probably aligned with what matters.

The areas that felt terrible, that's also information. Something was off. You were either in the wrong season for that priority, or it wasn't actually your priority at all, it was someone else's expectation.

I've learned that my body and emotions tell the truth before my brain catches up. If I'm resentful, exhausted, or constantly guilty, I'm living misaligned with what actually matters to me.

This isn't about judging yourself. It's about listening to what your life is trying to tell you.

Question 4: What Do I Want My Top 3 Priorities to Be This Year?

Given your current season, given what you learned from last year, given who you are right now and what you want your life to feel like:

What matters most?

Choose three. Only three.

Why only three? Because everything can't be a priority. When everything is a priority, nothing is.

Three priorities get your best time, energy, money, and attention.

Everything else? Maintenance mode. Good enough. Not this season.

Here's what this might look like:

Example 1: Mother of teens, mid-career professional, entrepreneur

1. Strategic presence with my teenagers (home for dinner 4x/week, available for late-night talks)

2. Building my business to replace corporate income within 2 years

3. My physical and mental health (non-negotiable movement, sleep, therapy)

   
   

Everything else—marriage, friendships, house projects, volunteering—gets "good enough" this year. Not neglected, but not the focus.

Example 2: Empty nester, corporate executive, caretaking aging parent

1. Executive presence and leadership at work (this is my peak earning/influence season)

2. Supporting my mother through her health transition

3. Rebuilding my marriage as partners, not just co-parents

Everything else—fitness goals, social obligations, house renovations—can wait or be simplified.

Example 3: Single, climbing career ladder, passionate about creative work

1. Promotion to director level (my career season is now)

2. Launching my podcast/writing project (my creative work matters to me)

3. Building a chosen family/community (my people are my priority)

Everything else—dating, travel, perfect apartment—takes a back seat this year.

Your turn: What are your top 3 priorities for this year, given your season?

And here's the deeper question: Why do these matter? How do you want to feel when you're honoring them?

Because priorities aren't just about doing, they're about being. They're about the life you want to feel like you're living.

When I prioritize being present with my teenagers, it's not just about being in the room. It's about feeling connected. About avoiding the regret of missing this season. About the peace of knowing I showed up.

When I prioritize my health, it's not just about exercise. It's about feeling energized instead of depleted. About being present, not just surviving.

Your priorities should be tied to the emotions you're chasing, and the emotions you're done tolerating.

What feeling are you moving toward? What feeling are you moving away from?

Question 5: What Needs to Change to Honor These Priorities?

This is where it gets real.

If those are truly your top 3 priorities, what are you currently doing that contradicts them?

Look at:

Your calendar:

• What meetings, commitments, or activities don't serve your top 3?

• What could you eliminate, delegate, or postpone?

• Where is your time going that doesn't match what matters most?

Your commitments:

• What boards, committees, or volunteer roles made sense once but don't now?

• What kids' activities are out of obligation, not genuine interest?

• What social obligations are draining, not life-giving?

Your work:

• Is your job aligned with your season, or is it demanding a season you're not in?

• Are you pursuing advancement when you need sustainability?

• Are you playing it safe when you need growth?

Your relationships:

• Who gets your best energy? Does that match your priorities?

• Where are you overgiving out of guilt, not genuine desire?

• Who needs more from you? Who needs less?

Your money:

• What are you spending on that doesn't serve your priorities?

• Where could you redirect resources to what matters most?

• What's the gap between your spending and your stated priorities?

Make a list:

To honor my priorities, I need to:

• Stop: _______________________

• Start: _______________________

• Continue: _______________________

• Change: _______________________

The Uncomfortable Truth

Here's what makes this audit so powerful and so hard:

You can't add new priorities without releasing old ones.

You can't say yes to being present with your teens without saying no to the evening commitments that made sense when they were little.

You can't say yes to building your business without saying no to the promotions that would require you to stay in corporate full-time.

You can't say yes to your health without saying no to the pace you've been keeping.

High achievers hate this. We want to have it all, do it all, be it all.

But the women I know who are genuinely thriving—not just surviving with a smile—have made peace with this truth:

You can have it all. Just not all at once. Not in the same season.

Seasons change. Priorities shift. What you say no to now, you might say yes to later.

But right now, in this season, you must choose.

What This Audit Reveals

Every year, this audit reveals something I didn't expect:

Year 1: I discovered I was living my mother's priorities, not mine. I thought I should want certain things because she valued them. But they weren't actually mine.

Year 2: I realized my kids didn't need or want all the activities I was managing. I was doing it to feel like a "good mom," not because it served them.

Year 3: I saw that I was saying yes to opportunities out of fear of missing out, not because they aligned with where I was heading.

Year 4: I recognized I was in a rest season, but still operating at a growth-season pace. My body was begging me to slow down.

This year: I'm seeing that my business is ready to scale, but I'm holding back out of fear. My season calls for bold moves, not playing small.

Every year, the audit shows me the gap between my stated values and my actual life.

And every year, I close that gap a little more.

The Second Half: What Are You Willing to Trade?

Once you complete this audit, you'll know what matters most.

But knowing isn't enough.

The real work—the transformative work—is asking: What am I willing to trade for what I want most?

That's Part 2 of this series, coming next week.

Because once you know your priorities, you have to protect them. And protection requires trade-offs.

Uncomfortable, identity-shifting, "what will people think" trade-offs.

But here's what I know after doing this work for years:

The women who are genuinely fulfilled aren't doing more. They're doing what matters most, and they've made peace with letting the rest go.

That's not settling. That's wisdom.

And it all starts with asking: What actually matters most?

Your Turn

This week, I invite you to do your own Annual Priority Audit.

Block out an hour. Pour some coffee or wine. Get honest with yourself.

Answer the five questions:

1. What season am I in?

2. What were my actual top 3 priorities last year?

3. Did those priorities align with my season?

4. What do I want my top 3 priorities to be this year?

5. What needs to change to honor these priorities?

You can download the full Annual Priority Audit worksheet below. It includes reflection prompts, space to work through each question, and planning tools to make your priorities actionable.

Because here's the truth: You can't protect what you haven't defined.

And you can't live what matters most if you're still living last year's life on autopilot.

It's time to audit. To get honest. To choose.

What matters most to you, right now, in this season of your life?

Next week, I'll show you how to protect it.

Download the Annual Priority Audit Worksheet and share here: What season are you in? What's one priority that's shifting for you this year?